Texts From Last Night

[CanadianGTR]

http://textsfromlastnight.com/

(919): so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.

Haha.

[WildCard_]

GOLD! haha

[CloudyGTR]

haha, oh man thats all sorts of win

[RyanGTS-T]

(615): drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my **** out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.



EDIT:

(616): If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.

(706): i would punch a child for taco bell

(520): If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.

(856): a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell

[Oakville]

(325): wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"


now that's what I call "swapping jerseys mid-game."

[Drama]

(508): dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
(617): that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
----
(734): i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
(1-734): what was she crying about?
(734): i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
----
(850): You drinking a lot?
(1-850): No.
(1-850): Define a lot
----
(619): do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
(805): Don't drive home.
----
(850): it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
----

[mightyrocker]

(810): My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
(1-810): either way. win, win.

[okasgtr]

(828): All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.

[Oakville]

this is like a FML knock-off. but funny.