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Hell Explained By A Chemistry Student

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  • Hell Explained By A Chemistry Student

    Got this in a email today. all i can say is epic. this question was given on a university level chemistry midterm.
    --------------------------------------------
    Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?

    The answer by one student was so 'profound' that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well

    Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant. One student, however, wrote the following:

    First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today.

    Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.

    This gives two possibilities:

    1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.

    2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.
    So which is it?

    If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, 'It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you,' and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number two must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over. The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct......leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting 'Oh my God.'

    THIS STUDENT RECEIVED AN A+
    -------------------------------------
    just thought i would share.
    Originally posted by bignate
    Top mount is cool but I'd feel like a nerd with top mounted 2530's, they're so tiny. Would look about as good as a girl with A cups sporting a DD bra.
    Originally posted by kelaog
    I agree, they get to wear all those cute outfits!!!! OMG JEALOUS!

  • #2
    lol thats awesome.

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    • #3
      ive read that before... and its a gooder
      How many kids with A.D.D. does it take to screw in a light bulb?

      Wanna go ride bikes...

      R.I.P \'87 4cyl Rustang
      \'03 Dodge SX2.0
      \'90 GTR32

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      • #4
        damnnn that's a good answer.. that kid is a smartass... good job
        ----------------------------------------------
        widebody rb25 r32
        Built by Fraser Valley Imports not Bought
        We aren't just Importers, We are Owners
        ----------------------------------------------
        friends of:
        genetic tuning!!!

        Originally posted by Muss
        Now why would two best friends fight? I'd say they'd just make a cookie pie, tell each other bed time stories and have a sleepover.

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        • #5
          hahahahah, that is so epic
          sigpic


          Originally posted by m_melen
          ...it woulda been safer if his harness were made of jello

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          • #6
            good, but such a first year chemistry explanation.

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            • #7
              haha
              yeah thats a pretty epic response
              Originally posted by Oakville
              that, is what us oakvillians like to call an 'instabone'

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              • #8
                thats hilarious
                Victory is on the horizon..

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                • #9
                  I'm in your sig?

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                  • #10
                    best answer ever


                    R33 Skyline GTR VSPEC (White)
                    R32 Skyline GTS-T (Ztune Silver) - Sold

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                    • #11
                      priceless.. ha ha

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                      • #12
                        Soo goood.
                        DISCLAIMER: If any of the above comments in this post hurt your feelings you are likely taking me too seriously; I'm probably just busting your balls. If you're unsure, feel free to PM me and we can discuss the matter privately, as to not pull the thread OT.

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                        • #13
                          this is on my FB...tis excellent
                          Fraser Valley Imports.ca
                          (The Detailer)
                          We aren't just Importers, we are Owners

                          Bike Project: Susie - 05 Suzuki GSXR 600
                          Car Project: In The Making

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