Whores and Hockey Players

[GDZILLA]

You guys have probably already heard of this one already but....

A man in the Florida supermarket tries to buy half a head of lettuce.
The very young produce assistant tells him that they sell only whole heads of lettuce.

The man persists and asks to see the manager.

The boy says he'll ask his manager about it.

Walking into the back room, the boy said to his manager, 'Some asshole wants to buy half a head of lettuce.' As he finished his sentence, he turned to & find the man standing right behind him, so he added, 'And this gentleman has kindly offered to buy the other half.'

The manager approved the deal, and the man went on his way.

Later the manager said to the boy, 'I was impressed with the way you got yourself out of that situation earlier. We like people who think on their feet here. Where are you from, son?'

' Canada , sir,' the boy replied.

'Well, why did you leave Canada?' the manager asked.

The boy said, 'Sir, there's nothing but whores and hockey players up there.'

'Really?' said the manager. 'My wife is from Canada .'

'No ****?' replied the boy. 'Who'd she play for?'

[falcon]

I fail to see how this is funny? And considering you're from Nebraska, you posted this to stir **** on a Canadian forum.

If you actually left your claimed "Great US of A" and discovered Canada for what it really is, you would realize that this "joke" in bad taste a terrible generalization and not even funny.

I can't even ice skate.

[QuietChaos]

It's really not that offensive..

On the other hand, it's not terribly funny, either.

[Muss]

I smiled.

Falcon, you need a drink or something. Way too uptight.

[falcon]

But I don't get the joke? It's not funny.

And whenever I poke fun at the USA on a mainly US forum I get flamed to ****. So I can do what I want, thanks.

[CanadianGTR]

I fail to see how this is funny? And considering you're from Nebraska, you posted this to stir **** on a Canadian forum.

If you actually left your claimed "Great US of A" and discovered Canada for what it really is, you would realize that this "joke" in bad taste a terrible generalization and not even funny.

I can't even ice skate.

Calm down, it was a funny joke. People can post things without trying to "stir ****" you know. We Canadians just have a better sense of humour about these things than our bunk buddies do.

[falcon]

I guess no one caught my last line.

[supguyex]

sigh.. everybody just calm down..i thought it was pretty funny.. i think everybody in the world needs a little more brain damage..

[QuietChaos]

But I don't get the joke? It's not funny.

It's supposed to be funny because his boss pointed out that he's quick on his feet, and he demonstrated it again when he was put on the spot. Kinda funny, but not "start-a-new-thread-for-one-joke" funny.

[frankiman]

good one

[DreadedFist]

Everyone in OT has had sand in their vagina's lately. GET THAT SAND OUT OF YOUR VAGINAS YOU GUYS.

[stucknot]

I liked that.
Reminds me of the salesman joke:

A keen country lad applied for a salesman's job at a city department store. In fact it was the biggest store in the world - you could get anything there.

The boss asked him, "Have you ever been a salesman before?"

"Yes, I was a salesman in the country" said the lad. The boss liked the cut of him and said, "You can start tomorrow and I'll come and see you when we close up."

The day was long and arduous for the young man, but finally 5 o'clock came around. The boss duly fronted up and asked, "How many sales did you make today?"

"One," said the young salesman.

"One," blurted the boss, "Most of my staff make 20 or 30 sales a day. How much was the sale worth?"

"Three hundred thousand dollars," said the young man.

"How did you manage that?" asked the flabbergasted boss.

"Well," said the salesman "this man came in and I sold him a small fish hook, then a medium hook and finally a really large hook. Then I sold him a small fishing line, a medium one and a huge big one. I asked him where he was going fishing and he said down the coast. I said he would probably need a boat, so I took him down to the boat department and sold him that twenty footer with the twin engines. Then he said his Volkswagen probably wouldn't be able to pull it, so I took him to the car department and sold him the new Heavy Haul Cruiser."

The boss took two steps back and asked in astonishment, "You sold all that to a guy who came in for a fish hook?"

"No," answered the salesman "He came in to buy a box of Tampons for his wife and I said to him, 'Your weekend's ****** buddy, you may as well go fishing.'"

[GDZILLA]

Not meant to stir things up just trying to lighten things up a little bit.

And Falcon sorry your so uptight I personally love Canada I think it's one of the most beautiful countries in the world...it's just too dam cold unless I could afford to live in Vancouver not that Nebraskas much better lately.

BTW Stucknot good one!!

[Muss]

But I don't get the joke? It's not funny.

And whenever I poke fun at the USA on a mainly US forum I get flamed to ****. So I can do what I want, thanks.

I never said you can't do what you want, I said have a drink. So ya, calm down champ.

[gtrtt]

I never said you can't do what you want, I said have a drink. So ya, calm down chimp.

Fixed the vowel in champ to reflect " buddys' " mood/mentality.

Joke made me smile - yup, it was lame , but funny none the less.No need to react like a rabid primate .

Aren't west coast guys supposed to be laid back ? Oops, another generalization, sorry about that.

Too many important (serious) people on this forum lately.

Fun to read though !